Peace and Healing

As seasons flow even faster these days it seems many of us come to terms with the brevity of life.  Maybe that is exactly the reason we mourn, and become baffled over death and dying. By not addressing the religious aspects of death and dying and how some find peace and solace knowing their loved one is with their Creator. I am referring to a more introspective look, a pondering of what are we doing daily? What can we do daily to make a difference? Is it even important for us to try? Many of these questions arise in my brain on a weekly basis. There are times I shove them aside and focus on a benign news story or become engaged in a sporting teams antics as if the final outcome has some philosophical significance. Ah, at least it is a diversion. The benefit of looking “into me” helps me with memories, goals, and even the present. I have come to realize just how content I am in life. Content with my spirituality, content with my relationship and content with my view of my “purpose.” With that, it surprises me to this day how our memories are attached to each other as a string of pearls. Of course there are times this is not what one may want, never the less our memories trigger feelings. It can happen in the converse where we feel an emotion and flash back to that specific memory that was attached to that feeling. We can use this memory photo album, this cerebral filing system to our benefit. We can tell the stories to our children. We can reflect back on how we did not accomplish or react how we wish we would have. We can assess the regret or joy for the benefit of learning and character development. There is benefit in routinely reflecting, and introspecting or “looking into you.”

I was driving home from work the other night, making my way on my hour trek, scanning the back country roads for my relatives, the whitetail deer or an unsuspecting raccoon. How and why I am not sure. My thoughts focused on a time when I was about ten, sitting at a kitchen table, sulking over a white supper plate as I traced the faded pear and leaf design on the placemat. Those tacky, foam backed placemats, with pastel fruit and a white background. Was that to make the dinner more enjoyable, or side track us as kids so we would be less aware of spinach, peas and beets oh my! Yes beets. That vegetable that appeared to resemble sliced liver (uncooked) and was ingested primarily for the millions of children starving in China. The parental influence of meal time was based on a foundation of what may appear to be Catholicism guilt, and pressured empathy. My parents were awesome and I did struggle with their pressure for me to grow up, “big and strong.” I learned to avoid that terrible feast by attempting my dream to be a magician. I hid the beets in a napkin, as a ten-year old slight of hand trick, they went into my Levi pockets. I stuffed them in baseboard heater vents behind my chair. Not wise, for a few days later the army of ants gave my mother a trail of disclosure. The beets went into my sock, my pants, the heat vents,and anywhere I could, to just avoid my mouth. My most creative maneuver was tucking the beets inside the remnants of an artichoke.

Of course I was caught many times but I must admit, I believe my parents allowed me to feel as if I got away with a few. This experience  of “beet memory” quickly transpired into a transition of connected memories. These entailed, my senses of sight, smell and hearing. I could remember my father sitting in his recliner glancing at me with a half smile, knowing I was in the process of making the beets disappear. The smell of his Camel non-filter permeated the kitchen and the sound of our black and white Zenith bringing the Viet Nam war to life, echoed in the background. Memories help us reflect and assess. We can change. We can look at our parenting and modify what we do. We can assess how relationships evolve and improve as well as dump old drivers from our past.

For me “looking into me” is imperative to make sense of what I do, and how I do it. I always need to improve. I need to be a better grand parent, a better person in relationships and find myself in a role of life where I can make a difference with others. To this day I will not eat beets. I do not complain about food and find myself fortunate to have what I have. Some of that must come from my roots. I never forced my children to eat with the induced guilt of starving children. There are many parenting behaviors I could of improved on and still look to improve. Beets, the catalyst of a cascade of memories that took me back in time. As I drove into my driveway I pushed the button on the garage remote. It opened slowly and I remembered how I used to imagine it was my “bat cave” and I would drive my bat mobile into the cave after a tough day of rescuing the victims of life. Here we go again. What memories are attached to this reflection?

The upcoming release of a the documentary, “I Am” by Tom Shadyac is a powerful, moving documentary of a movie producer having his own awakening secondary to a traumatic mountain biking accident. He begins to ponder his own purpose on this little blue dot as well as what is wrong with our culture. Not “our” culture but the World’s culture and why we/you and each one of us are not putting forth an effort to make a change in the world. This is not a self served documentary. It is not a sweeping “aha” experience but a direct, poignant look at why humans behave as we do and why we continue to behave as we do. It just so happens we do a lot of right things towards fellow humans just not enough of it.

Shadyac interviews Desmond Tutu as well as many authors, poets, and scientists around what makes us tick and why we often fall short. This documentary IS a must see for every human being or two legged that walks and breathes on this planet. For this author, this psychologist, this human being it is really nothing extraordinarily new but it is filmed and edited in a wonderful moving way that should bring motivation for at least a few and my hopes, many. This documentary reinforces what Native Americans, and aboriginal cultures have said for years. We are all connected. The animals, the trees, the grass, the weeds, the earth, the yogurt….yes the yogurt. There IS a thread of spiritual connectedness which is and can be measured. Ala, “Avatar” the connectedness is real as a scientific equation. Scientists are becoming closer and closer to being able to measure significant p values for objective results.

There will be skeptics and some of the reviews are already coming in as three star reviews as an emotional bait that is casted across audiences with dramatic nature footage and smoke and mirrors of emotions. These reviews may be coming from the calloused individuals who will turn their head and place their preverbal heart and soul in Pandora’s box for fear of looking at their own monetary dark side. If you value your possessions more than a hug from your child? If you value the rise of the stock market more than a sunset and learning about the physiologic connectedness with us and mammals then this movie may be reviewed in a negative light. However this film is especially for you and if you look away, then you must ask yourself why?

The documentary “I am” is powerful and has the potential to be life changing, even culture changing if each one of us realizes that one smile, one hug, one joke told to a child one giving of a dollar can make a difference. It is as powerful as every one of us.

Peace and Healing will do what we can. In January we will be giving away copies of the DVD to random individuals on our Facebook site. All we ask is that you refer someone to Peace and Healing on Facebook and like the comment area when we post the giveaway. Details on Facebook coming soon. Realize that the problem with the world is “you” and “me” and we are also the solution. That is the premise of this documentary. Time is ticking. We all have a limited amount of time here. Let us make the most of it. Please view “I Am.”

Earlier this year I wrote my opinion about the infamous Pujols and his decision to proceed in life with his search for a better venue in his eyes and more money. Yes, more money. I was criticized by a few and applauded by a few. I welcome the criticism. I did not, nor do I now tout these opinions as a truth. They are my opinion and when we as humans voice our opinion how in the world can that be wrong? Pujols has chosen to sign with the Los Angeles Angels for about 250 million dollars over ten years and turned down one hundred and ninety five million over nine years with the Cardinals. A difference of fifty-five million dollars. Chump change for an athlete of his caliber, right? The issue here and my passion is not with Pujols, but with my passion. I am avid Cardinal fan, and a more avid baseball fan. It strikes a chord of regret in me to see  him leave. I regret what could be. I am allowed. Regret is a good thing, when we feel bad about the regret we feel that is when it becomes a problem. I wonder if Pujols will feel any regret? I am also very appreciative of what he gave myself, my family, and the fans during the years in St. Louis. Neither of these feelings resolve the morality of choosing the amount of money and leaving his team and the city of St. Louis. Let me start by stating to all the sports writers who will attack him for leaving his team..you do not have a leg to stand on. There is no “family” in baseball teams. They do not exist. They left with free agency, lack of incentives, and no caps on the individual salaries. If Puhols wants to make as much money as he can, then he may. This is what the freedom in this country is about. It is also about team, giving back to the community and the impoverished. Yes. Yes. By the way, YES!!!! I AM AWARE  of his charity work, and his extensive donations to his home country. God Bless him. Yes God Bless him. Oh, by the way speaking of the “main man” I wonder, since Puhols is Christian if this is what JC would do? There are questions that abound here. How much is he giving back? Is it truly altruistic? Is it merely a tax right off? Will he give more? How ironic this Christian man goes to the “Angels” the symbol of purity of lofty status, of integrity, of divine missions. Maybe the Pirates would of been a better fit. Taking the most money you can in life, giving back a little and make it look like your a great guy? Pujols is not robbing anyone as a pirate would do, but because of his monetary decision he is robbing the dedicated fans, and his teammates. Back in the day this would of not of been an issue. This is what the baseball fans in their twenties and thirties did NOT grow up with. When team, unity, integrity meant more than the cash flow. When touting you were a Christian meant stopping and helping anyone with a flat tire and not pointing to the sky when you won at bingo, or writing on your John Deere jacket “WWJD.” Do not get me wrong my blog readers and followers. This is no more anti-Christian or anti-Pujols as it is more about continuity of integrity, the importance of values, and dedication to the team and to your community. Baseball is to blame, society is to blame, the media is to blame however (choice) Pujols always had choice. Did Pujols do the  the right thing here? I do not have that answer, only Pujols has that answer in his heart. I only know what he has said about staying in St.Louis, his statement of lovingcommunity, his team and the fans and….oh yeah that fifty-five-million dollar difference.

In this author’s opinion when you stand in front of the media and the families and fans of the baseball world and gesture, with your hands, mark on your clothes and wear a crucifix about how much of a Christian you are that should follow suit with some consistent morality. Yes, wealth and Christianity can exist together. Once again this is a betrayal of morality, continuity and thinking about one’s self not the team. I could care less about what smiling hat he wears when he walks beside children in wheel chairs. In the end in life it is always about what you gave back, and what you live with. At the end of the day when he has done his job of entertainment can he lay his head on his pillow guilt free?

Ahhh America, the land where you can make millions and millions playing a kids game and reinforce the lack of unity and dedication and I can voice my opinion and express my feelings about a hero I once knew that won the Cardinals two World Championships. Thank you Albert, I hope this decision falls within the morality foul poles for you also.

Our skin, the largest organ of our body. It protects us from the elements as well as helping with our body temperature. If one has ever cut down a tree you have noticed the protective layer of the bark. Also an insulator as well as a protector of nutrients that flow up the trunk. Damage the bark significantly and you see a scar for the rest of the tree’s life. Even our brain has a protective outer layer called dura mater, “tough mother.” The protection of many animals, trees, plants and even insects have protective outer layers to escape predators as well as protection from the elements. What about our emotions, our soul, our spirit? What is the protective layer of our emotions? Is it any wonder that paramedics, police officers, and those in active combat become calloused or to the contrary do not, and suffer PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. It IS our very perception of self, combined with experience and our success, as well as failure that protects our soul our living spirit. When met with repetitious life trauma, emotional devastation repeatedly we may weaken, however this is also the process that develops character.

The outer layer that protects our spirit, our soul, our emotional demeanor is our perception of life and how we chose to handle it. Nothing more, nothing less. Why the surge on self help books, the quest for the “right” religion, the need to question our belief versus listening to a loved one try and convince us to accept a certain religious paradigm. When pushed to the limit of stress. When we feel we are ready to break. When the emotion upheaval is so heavy upon our ability to cope, we may rely on others to converse. When we hang up the phone, leave the therapy session or begin to walk our walk of life….in the end it is always “YOU” that goes to bed at night when the covers are tucked up under your chin. Recognize the protective layer is your perception, your attitude, your belief. It is the make or break in terms of happiness and success when dealing with stress and life trauma. If one has a shattered or weak perception of self, it takes minimal understanding to see one shaken, one rattled and disoriented on which path to take.

We sometimes over compensate and build a very calloused layer to protect the wounded soul. The emotional bark becomes thicker and at times impenetrable.  It is up to us to soften the outer layer with time, personal growth and trusting others. Yes, it takes time. Sometimes, like the tree hit by lightning, the scar remains and rears it’s ugly head in the form of anger, tears, or condescending behavior. Sarcasm, the wonderful defense to softness. It is humorous, but when used frequently is a defense mechanism to avoid. The avoidance of closeness. I know few people that would want to hug a hawthorn tree with it’s wooden barbs emitting out from the trunk as if it were a  Medieval  weapon. Humans can grow these thorns as well as remove them. We have the opportunity to become guarded and protective. We also have the ability to let the guard down and become soft and giving. The balance. Ah, the balance. Humans must learn and understand their own protective layer. The skin of their soul. The bark around their spirituality. It is important to protect ourselves, however too much protection and we live emotionally lonely lives, where we can rationalize our very existence. We can convince ourselves we are happy, when we are not.

Understand the importance of your protective layer and how it changes with certain individuals. Decide how you want to live. Maybe you need to be more protective of your soul and just maybe you need to open up and become more vulnerable. Either way, recognize the protective layer and your responsibility in owning it.

We walk this path in life with what we want to believe are high moral codes. We place celebrities on pedestals with images of embellished grandeur. Not facts. Not a personality profile, and clearly not a psychological assessment of them. Our views of celebrities, coaches, and athletes are a combination of a media illusion and our want to believe in our fantasies. The benefit here is that when our heroes fall, and fall hard there is a positive, a benefit many times to be found. Sex abuse once again at the expense of the victim is making MAJOR headlines. Why? It is not the pain and suffering the children have experienced. It is not the “grooming” the manipulation that is done by the perpetrator. It is the media attention of a fallen illusion. A fallen hero who does not do the right moral and legal behavior for the benefit of the children.

Jerry Sandusky had direct affiliation with ” The Second Mile” an organization that took care of and fostered troubled boys. These children had acting out behavior, a past history of sex abuse and other emotional disabilities. They were desperate for trust as well as needing a father role model. Here is where the case becomes a major atrocity to this examiner/writer. Imagine a wildlife refuge. A serene, beautiful area where waterfowl came year after year and frolicked knowing there was no harm that would incur. One day a hunter gets permission to hunt he refuge. The ducks and geese come flocking in by the hundreds if not thousands, for they knew they could trust this environment. This is a greedy hunters dream. This is the environment Sandusky had. he had a refuge of emotionally wounded boys, some pre-pubescent and took advantage of their emotional handicap as well as manipulated their environment with money, football tickets, memorabilia and other gifts. This con is referred to as “grooming.” Sandusky is among the worst perpetrators, if we had to put a degree on perpetrators, for he preyed on the already wounded children. Paterno will go down in flames if there is any truth to the allegation that he knew but postponed his duty to report. This atrocity does have a benefit. Of course this silver lining is tainted, but never the less it is a fact. Due to this gross abuse and misuse of power, and neglect of a very serious crime the media has jumped on the bandwagon. Maybe some laws on reporting will be changed? Maybe we will have the  ”Sandusky Perpetrator Reporting Law” in Pennsylvania? Maybe things will begin to slowly evolve for the better? I have to hope for this case is so disturbing to this writer. Disturbing for I know first hand what it is like to trust and become emotionally and physically betrayed. Grotesque because power, universities, and position give way to a false sense of entitlement and covering up for sports as well as to cover up for a prestigious name.

The children, do not forget the children. The media has minimized the effects of sex abuse, at least so far. These children will take longer than an average sex abuse victim to recover. This is just statistical common sense. Recurrent emotional trauma is literally devastating. The children. Ah yes, the innocent looking for a role model, a trusting figure. What better role model than a famous assistant football coach to one of largest power house football teams in college history. The courts need to look at pre-meditation, the severity of the abuse, the magnitude of the numbers, the coverup and the treatment for these children. Sandusky needs to pay monetarily and emotionally. Will he? Or is he too narcissistic for that? How many more Saduskies are out there that do not have the name? Many! Spread the word. Teach your children to speak up. They are the heroes, The victims of deception and courageous souls that will hopefully make a difference for others down the road for their pain.

Ah, the good ole road trip. A road trip at twenty is a little different than fifty-four, or is it? At Peace and Healing I often stress the importance of letting your hair down, do not get stuck in age stereotypes or the rut of complacency. My fiancee and I recently took a road trip for her primitive design passion. We both get a little stir crazy in a nine hour drive, minimal stops and the repetitious head lights. I mean, let’s face it how many time can you count the headlights on the highway ala Elton John. On the way back home through Ohio we had to stop at a roadside candy shop called Coon’s Candy. This roadside attraction touts over three hundred types of candy and they stayed true to their word. Candy from the current era, their home made specialties as well as candy from the fifties and sixties. We are talking BB-Bats, Sixlets, Malta Milk circles and candy cigarettes. Yes, that chalky candy that imitated cigarettes which was as psychologicaly detrimental as candy pellets in a medicine bottle. Many years ago they were taken off the market, needles to say, I do not need to say why. Never the less, into the vehicle, placed in drive, a small smirk from each of us and an offer of a candy cigarette as we sipped on our root beer, listening to folk music, heading to Bowling Green, Ohio.

Laughter, acting child like is a necessity if one is to stay healthy, young at heart and the need for our adult children to think our elevator does not go all the way to the top floor. I am so happy that our spontaneity, our weird ways of how we see life veer off the interstate to a bumpy country road at times. Yes, we can take it too far, but we never get stuck in the mundane mud of life. Oh, we have our moments when the skirt of self esteem  gets stepped on, but we always converse and work it out. Communication, commitment, and humility, as well as our child like impulsivity adds the mortar to our realtioonship. Never take your self too seriously! When that occurs somewhere, someplace, in time you will be given a mirror of your ineptness and not know how to handle it, except become defensive.

Relationships, long relationships are learned through time. An area I have struggled with due to my inability to see health and a desire to fix the wounded woman. This is a classic scenario of the sexually abused. I thank perseverance, karma and my ability to risk to seek happiness. I thank my want to stop at “Coon’s Candy store in Ohio. Most importantly, I am fortunate to have a life partner that is as goofy if not goofier than I. It fosters the closeness. We could of bitched and moaned about the drive, the setting sun to the West blinding us, or the long drive. We did none of that. We sought out fun unconsciously and spontaneously.Try it. You will not regret it. Some call it “getting freaky,” others call it child-like, I call it “normal.” Well, I have to to keep my own sanity.

Life presents many opportunities. There are some we do not care for, some we try to avoid and then there are others we cannot avoid and MUST address them head on. What do you do in the stressful crunch of life? Do you fold? Do you run? Do sweep your stress, trauma, conflict under the rug? When we are faced with a situation where the epinephrine is free flowing through our body, our heart is racing, perspiration is beading up on our skin like a shower wall mirror, what do we do? There are many responses, and there are times we MUST react. In the 2011 World Series there are life lessons which can be learned. Twice, the St. Louis Cardinals were with one strike away from elimination. They persevered. The old adage, “It is not over till it’s over” never rang so true. I have witnessed this ( NEVER GIVE UP ) attitude in various forms in life. From cancer patients, athletes, psychotherapy patients, veterans of war, and severe life trauma. Some of us have an innate ability to strive and push through all situations and end up surprising ourselves. There is a belief, an attitudinal adjustment that these individuals have which is not so inherent in others. I am of the belief that this “never give up” attitude can be taught, can be instilled. When the attitude is there, the belief is formulated then amazing outcomes occur. The wildlife photographer who obtains great shots has spent thousands of hours in the field, and many many disappointments before that one magical picture comes together. One thing is for sure, one must believe, and get out there to achieve the results.

Negative thinking, negative thoughts WILL give rise to increased chances of failure. This my dear reader is a FACT. I personally believe that most individuals that have the drive to be happy, the drive to push themselves to the limit, and those that are faced with two strikes and two outs in the bottom of the ninth have had some type of severe adversity in their lives. In listening to the interview with David Freese after the Cardinals won the World Series he gave up baseball for a short time. Was done. Maybe frustration, maybe a life trauma, and it does not matter what the adversity was. What does matter, is that something occurred.  I have zero studies to back this up, no chi squares, no p-values and no control groups. I do have life experience and thousands of patients I have treated. Some have made it to the professional ranks, and some are successful defined by being happy as well as having very lucrative careers. All of them do not rattle with one second left as they stand on the free throw line of life. Ice for veins? Maybe? I would rather call it learned confidence. Not arrogance but learned confidence from dealing with severe adversity.

These individuals do not whine and complain. When injured they do not run for attention. They proceed and want to be there when the crisis occurs, when the two outs arrive for they feel they can help the team as well as others. For the most part their is a paradoxical humility. Paradoxical in the sense that they do not strive for the interview, or the television time, however when faced with it, there is genuine humility. Those with unresolved issues who have also suffered life crisis will not want the bat in their hands in the ninth, they will avoid and these are the individuals that hesitate in life not sure of venturing traits like risk, failure, winning, and self introspection. Literally their own fear is their fear. Let me repeat. Their own fear is their fear. It is a perpetuating fear that arises similar to a summer thunderstorm, coming from the West. As quick as it arises it will pass. These individuals cannot handle the rain and thunder and must duck inside for shelter as opposed to enjoying the power of natures fury and not being afraid.

Sex abuse, loss, trauma, and sudden death has the potential to make humans stronger. They have the potential to learn and succeed in the time of need. Yes, I do believe there is a genetic component as well, but it is NOT the majority that rises one from the ashes of life. It is the focus, the desire coming from adversity. As children many of us have fantasized with a whiffle ball and bat. Two strikes, two outs, bottom of the ninth, and Dan Williams is coming up to bat. “There it goes, he got all of that one, it could be, it might be it IS!  A home run, the Cardinals win, the cardinals win.”

The Cardinals not only saw the silver lining the opportunity available they became the silver lining. Seeing opportunity and taking advantage of it for yourself as well as others is walk in life where many benefit. It can be a win-win situation. Look back. What happened in your life to mold you into the person who wants the bat at the bottom of the ninth with two outs and two strikes? Do you know? If so, be thankful and point it out to others. Our path occurs for a reason and all the brambles and trips and falls that came with it just to reach the apex.

Fatigued, mentally exhausted, the day has been hell and there is just no time to converse with your loved one or the children. The days have taken their toll in a cumulative fashion. You know that when you lay your head on the pillow and the pillow billows up around your ears that it will only be a matter of moments and you will fall asleep. You stare briefly at the ceiling wondering why the plaster has less spackling in a one inch area. You close your eyes and the plaster in-congruency  attaches  to home improvement which attaches to your savings account which is attached to how much you have recently spent which is attached to working more hours and off you go…… The mind and it’s ability to ruminate to prevent rest is one of the more common complaints by my patents and myself.

Many of us have difficulty turning off the white and grey matter. We cannot seem to stop or slow down the firing of neurons. It may be worry, too much on our work plate of life, ridiculous expectations we place on ourself or any such topic that prevents us from sleeping. Many of my patients want a sleep aid. Ah yes, the immediate benefit of a prescription pharmaceutical. Then there are the OTC sleep aids which ARE all similar. The sleep ingredient is diphenyhydramine (Benadryl.) Natural remedies work minimally, like St.Johns Wart, Valerian Root, and that good ole cup of warm milk. Meditation and visual imagery is my mechanism of choice and has served me well over the years. Like any intervention it does take practice and will not meet your needs immediately.

I recently wrote about the “fourteen second leaf.” The leaf that broke away from a limb about thirty yard in the air. It circled and spiraled, and spiraled some more trying to find it’s predestined respite. I counted one one thousand, two one thousand till it landed fourteen seconds later. During that time I was focused on it’s color, it’s motion, and the dance it did with the wind. It was if there was a marriage between the wind and that leaf. During that time I was not thinking of home improvement nor work nor any stress that would take my mind away from a restful state. That brief moment I was hypnotized. I was with that leaf, a part of it’s descent. We can take this even further and how far can we transcend our minds and become attached in a spiritual sense to objects, to nature to their life and their death? For this topic we do not want to digress, for that would be exactly what we are trying to avoid.

The pillow rumination syndrome, as I call it, can be very destructive. This is not an embellsihment. Lack of sleep is responsible for car accidents, work injuries, marital discord, decreased time with children, a lack of  implementing your quality assets as well as a plethora of medical ailments.

Some of us are wired tighter than others. One must want to try a different intervention if one is to improve. Explore visual imagery. Explore meditation. Explore other avenues besides medication. I rarely guarentee any intervention for it is really up to the individual and their motivation. If one does implement this restful mechanism when that head hits the pillow it WILL work over time. Use that pillow as a lift off, a flight to anywhere, a flight to no where. Make it a one way ticket away from rumination, who knows you may also see the “fourteen second leaf.”

For many the Fall brings about many memories. The most profound are clearly the fall colors. The burst of visual stimuli is dependent on the mount of rain the trees receive, the shortening of sunlight decreasing photosynthesis, and the cool weather. The leaves begin to slowly burst into brilliant reds, yellows, orange and brown. Photo enthusiasts abound hoping for the sunlight to catch a ray on a tattered leaf just at the right angle. Some think of the World Series bring about memories of their family and hopes of their favorite team advancing, and yet others hit the apple orchards, the pumpkin patches while a crock of chili and pumpkin bread warm in the oven permeating the smell throughout the house. Fall can bring lovers falling into a bundle of leaves as the crisp leaves resound with their bodies engulfed in the fall gift of natural soft mats.

Appreciation of the seasons, nature and what each person makes of it is up to them. Some of these are harbored into tradition, others are just mesmerized by the love of the change. Seasons give way to an experience that when shared initiates memories and bonds families and loved ones. If it is implemented. We as driven humans MUST stop our cyclical rituals of the a.m. alarm, and the rush to work to climb another rung one by one to achieve that finical dream and stop and look at what is important in your life. Of course you need to work, but where can you cut back to spend time with loved ones?

Harvest, the combines in the midwest, the dodging of deer in rut, and the animals forecasting a cold night by their scurry for food from bird feeders, and nuts that rain down from the trees with resounding thuds. Yes there is that ominous predictive sign of the frigid winter to come but we must stay in the moment, the present to derive the pleasure of the simple.

The seasons of nature are a gift. I cherish each one with a moderate hesitation of the winter. I still try to reframe and find the positive. The chance to write more, and take in the moderate days to capture some photos of snow covered foliage and the brilliance and contrast of the birds against the snow driven backdrop.

I recently wrote post about the importance of the simple, the free gifts of nature that we are exposed to daily but become too busy, too preoccupied to see, to appreciate, to stop and engulf the surroundings that are right in from t of us. This is one simple but yet profound outcome to reach a calmness, an appreciation of why we are here, and why we must give it the time of day in our lives.

This weekend I sat on my deck watching sporadic locust and few cherry tree leaves fall to the ground. It was not one leaf that caught my attention but a small branch with five leaves on either side. Maybe a squirrel gnawed it loose, maybe it was broken in a previous wind storm and was barely hanging. Never the less it came sailing to earth in a circular fall, every so slowly. It fell approximately twenty yards as i counted, one one thousand two one thousand. At fourteen seconds it rested at its new home on the forest floor. Due it’s leaves it caught the air perfectly and took it’s time. In that fourteen second moment I was not at work, I was not concerned about my finances, I was not worried about my children, or the last patient I treated. I was with that leaf. That leaf with it’s predetermined destiny.

For me the Fall is a gift I look forward to. It is natures way of alerting me to its hibernation and the long winter ahead. It alerts me to another layer of leaves, adding another layer of forest floor fertilization and a home for grubs and insects. Look to Autumn for your own peacefulness, your own reflection, and your own muse to reminise on the past and the days when you as a child jumped into the raked bundles of earth tones.

At Peace and Healing we encourage you to explore, to seek out the different, the child like, the want to stay young and the importance to the detail of nature. It is there that many times you will find not only your past but your present. Enjoy your harvest time. Harvest some memories and share them with you children and family, continue the tradition.

As a child, my father was a tremendous influence for me. Of course, with his era of growing up and his Marine Corp. background there were the usual, “Boy I thought I told you to put that back where you got it from” and ” If I told you once I told you a thousand times.” There was never any corporal punishment and he was a true mentor in the outdoors. Growing up in the midwest there was not much to focus on besides, hunting , fishing, trapping, and camping. I have left hunting with a gun and now use a Canon, capturing shots of wildlife and enjoy watching them give someone else happiness in the world. I am done taking lives of my relatives. My father though taught me and gave me souvenirs that I now share to my loved ones. Memories are exactly that souvenirs that we hold onto to. Memories must be ruminated on, shared, and ruminated on some more if we are ever going to be able to remember them and share them. Age has a way of stealing those souvenirs and making them a black hole in our cerebral cortex. It starts out with forgetting where you placed the car keys, not once but many times. It then starts to impinge on the short term memory. Many times the long term memory stays intact and is the last to go.

Memories are created by an influx of stimuli that commonly involve one or all of our senses and usually tied in with emotionality at that time. Smells, sight, hearing and touch are all at play when helping mom bake those homemade chocolate chip cookies. Your first kiss may be remembered for a lifetime for it may of been anxiety provoking or very pleasant. We have an unlimited resource to store these unique souvenirs calling on them when we want and at times when we do not want. It is SO important to share these memories with your children and hope they share them with their children. It is in the stories and the showering down of information of our family tree where we gather our perceptions of the past. There is much more at play here then being remembered. It is the tool that connects a child to their hereditary lineage, their connectedness to their Jungian spirituality. Memories are price less and should be shared. If not, they are discarded like a first bouquet of roses to a true love.

When I experience an occasion that is very emotional for me with my children or my fiancee I often ruminate and run it through my brain over and over. For me this helps lock in the memories, and connect them to feelings as well as sensory stimuli. I do not want to forget. I understand the aging process and I realize that at some point those souvenirs will be stolen grey matter to the passage of time. Maybe that is why I write? I can tell you that souvenirs are meant to be cherished. We take photographs, journal away on our lap tops, and even video record. The stories of the past though are rarely shared. Our past is filled with scars, happiness, tears and anger. We choose what we want to share. Please share some of your memories from time to time. You will not regret that you did and that bit of sharing is giving back to someone you love.