What is change?
Change, the ability to move from a certain position to a new one. A different perspective in life. To change can be an intentional premeditated move or a slow insidious move without being aware. Physical changes can be slow, very slow. The thinning of our skin as we age, the decreased muscle tone. Psychological change many times takes effort. A conscious awareness to move through a position in life that we feel is unacceptable to us, our family, and/or our relationship. We are constantly changing. To not accept that concept is to deny our very existence on this planet. the solar system is changing, the earth is changing, and we change daily. We lose skin cells, brain cells die daily, and I am very surprised when one states they do not need to change from a psychological perspective. I need to change. I am working on myself daily. I look at how I can be a better mate, a better father and soon a better grandfather. It surprises me when one who is in their fifth decade of life states their political views have not changed since high school. Really? How is that possible if one does not read, and move on through life wanting a better more improved society.
Love is no different, a job is no different. We must change, we must recognize our shortcomings if we are to move on and be happy. There needs to be drastic measures sometimes in order to elicit change. In the movie ” Into the Wild” McCandless made a drastic move with little preparation. he had to escape his dysfunctional family and moved West, solo with idealistic views of Thoreau and images of finding an inner peace, a tranquility in nature. In the end he changed and he learned, “Happiness is only real when shared.” Too late, I might add.
We are social animals, we need love, we need to be touched, we need to learn to trust if we are to be happy. If that cannot happen I guarantee you a lonely existence. Sure, you might be happy from day to day; however it WILL be a superficial existence and a lonely one.
Change is the ability to RECOGNIZE. Change is the ability to have DESIRE. Change is the ability to NOTICE THE INNER DEMONS AND NOT ALLOW THEM TO SHATTER OUR SENSE OF SELF.Change is being ECSTATIC that you recognize the faults we carry from our past for that is the first step in changing to the positive. Change is GROWTH.
How do you elicit change?
To elicit change one must first recognize one’s stagnation. We become comfortable with what we know. We become stagnate with routine. When someone states, “I like who I am, I do not want to change.” I have some awakening news for them, they like themselves because they are unaware of the slow insidious change that has occurred to them. Humans, we are a strange breed, we fall into ruts in life that become comfortable. We are inherently afraid to risk. RISK, elicits change. Sure you will fail a few times, but to state “I am the way I am, love me or leave me,” is a defeatist , arrogant statement. The response to that statement, ” I love you for who you are, and I would be excited if you could see the possibilities you have by moving forward with change. Individuals for the most part have a hard time seeing their potential. Individuals do not see what they really could accomplish in a relationship or in a job setting. We become complacent with life.
To elicit change is to risk. To elicit change is to recognize in order to be happy in order to move through life and “eat it up.” One must see what is making them stuck, and why they refuse to proceed down a different path.To elicit change is to recognize change will happen to some degree no matter what. To elicit psychological change in your life is to clean out your old luggage. Find the old pennies, the old love letters from a destructive relationship, the receipts of gifts purchased from times that have gone bye, and wipe that luggage clean. Begin fresh, see new beginnings, new ventures. New ventures defined by reevaluating your relationship, your job, and DO something about it. Stop the damn sulking, stop the complaining, and MOVE. Maybe you knew all along the relationship is bringing you down and you cannot move out of it. YOU CAN if you must. Have you given it your best, your BEST, not just saying you have, but have you?
Every self help book, every motivational speaker, every Shaman, every therapist worth their weight preaches the importance of change. Not just seeing the positive, but seeing what brought you to where you are, and changing it. How? Risk, be aware of the ugly complacency and “do.” Interact differently, dance differently, sing differently, look at that tree differently, and most importantly look at the positives in yourself and what can you contribute to your family and your loved one that is DIFFERENT. Not the same old behavior.
Although Dorothy had the ability to go home she had to learn. She learned along the yellow brick road. She learned a bunch. In “Good Will Hunting” Matt Damon learned a different perspective, and confronted his demons, he learned how to change, all be it the struggle it was. Some of the most inspiring movies are about learning we need to change. If they inspire us, and we know it to be true then why do we not elicit? Why do we buy books by the millions trying to learn how? We are scared, we do not have the true motivation to change, and life has probably not got painful enough for you to do it. Bottom line , “you are not ready.”
Change is healthy, needed, and inevitable. Do not wait. Life is too damn short to wait. Start now, role model to your loved ones the importance so they can see it can be done.